This is how I like to see myself - at the top...
I have often asked myself this question: "What is it I want? What is my intension?"
I am thinking about my status quotes on Facebook, and what I write here on this blog. I have 3 different homepages that I regularly update. Why is that?
I do not have to find the reason why. I could just accept, that is the way I am and smile at it all.
But the truth is that I think I know - but it is a little bit hard to admit.
I know what I do afterwards when I have posted something on this blog and linked it to Facebook or Twitter.
The next day (if I can wait that long) I will look at the status on the blog - there I can find out how many have visited. If it is a lot - it makes me glad and satisfied. I get the feeling of being seen and heard. I LIKE IT!!
That is also the case if I post something on Facebook. I am eager to se if there are any "likes".
It is fine that I have discovered what is behind my doing. I seek recognition and attention and I thrive in that.
Like when I post pictures of my icons - what is it I want? Yes, people saying:" You are so good, talented, they look nice etc. etc."
OK, I have to accept - that is the way I am, and it is important that I do not condemn myself for being that way. And then this "confession" because it is important not to underestimate the power of my ego. By looking it straight in the eye - shedding some light on it - it will shrink.
My goal is the peace of God. I cannot find it outside of myself.
It cannot be found in acknowledgements and praise of others.
Today I will seek and find the Peace of God.
It will be given me when I accept EVERYTHING, exactly as it is.
And I have to remember - that includes myself.
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