9. apr. 2010

I spend my day in total peace - or do I?

What a wonderful morning.
 I feel so peaceful - like most mornings. I feel light - I feel free.I went for a walk along the beach with my dog Fiffi - like most mornings.I am a good Course student - this is working!! Nothing can disturb my peace!My walk is a couple of kilometers long - the view here along the beaches of Tisvildeleje is fantastic!
All of a sudden I just "froze".I saw a body - lying twisted among the rocks a few meters from the water. Blue pants and a red jacket - the head twisted in an unnatural way. Already I had the whole story made up in my mind, a man who had fallen overboard from a ship...My hearts was pumping like mad - I was so scared and my first thought was to turn my back on the body - and escape.But then I remembered - I choose my own thoughts - only my thoughts frightens me...So I went on. I must admit - peace did not come - just like that...As I came closer - I had second thoughts - was it really a body?

I went on - and when I came real close I discovered - it was only some fabric from a sail - what I thought was the head of the body - turned out to be a stone...There I was - observing my mind. Stories made up in my mind in less than a second -scared me stiff - for what reason?None. None whatsoever.This is how quickly my peace could turn to fear. Death frightens me still. Makes me all white inside.But it also tells me - nothing that I see - is what it REALLY is.I am most grateful for this experience. Only a few minutes earlier I thought nothing could disturb my peace.It showed me there is still much forgiveness work to be done...It showed me how easy it is to fool myself into believing my forgiveness work is done.

A couple of days later a body was found on the beach. ..?

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